I love this book

This book is a dictionary of words for things that words don't exist for eg.

Ardslignish (adj.) - Descriptive of the behaviour of sellotape when you are tired.

Aubusson (n.) - The hairstyle a girl adopts for a special occasion which suddenly gives you a sense of what she will look like in twenty year's time.

Bolsover (n.) - One of those brown plastic trays with bumps on, placed upside down in boxes of chocolates to make you think you're getting two layers.

Boothby Graffoe (n.) - The man in the pub who slaps people on the back as if they were old friends, when in fact he has no friends, largely on account of this habit.

Dufton (n.) - The last page of a document that you always leave face down in the photocopier and have to go and retrieve later.

Duluth (adj.) - The smell of a taxi out of which people have just got.

Foffarty (adj.) - Unable to find the right moment to leave.

Fraddam (n.) - The small awkward-shaped piece of cheese which remains after grating a large regular-shaped piece of cheese, and which enables you to grate your fingers.

Glud (n.) - The pinkish mulch found in the bottom of a lady's handbag.

Golant (adj.) - Blank, sly and faintly embarrassed. Pertaining to the expression seen on the face of someone who has clearly forgotten your name.

Goosnargh (n.) - Something left over from preparing or eating a meal, which you store in the fridge despite the fact that you know full well you will never ever use it.

Hoddleson (n.) - An 'injured' footballer's limp back into the game which draws applause but doesn't fool anybody.

Kettering (n.) - The marks left on your bottom or thighs after sunbathing on a wickerwork chair.

Kettleness (adj.) - The quality of not being able to pee while being watched.

Lambarene (adj.) - Feeling better for having put pyjamas on. 

Liff (n.) - A common object or experience for which no word yet exists.

Listowel (n.) - The small mat on the bar designed to be more absorbent than the bar, but not as absorbent as your elbows.

Mointy (n.) - The last little tear before somebody cheers up.

Munster (n.) - A person who continually brings up the subject of property prices.

Oswestry (n.) - The inability to find a comfortable position to lie in bed.

Peoria (n.) - The fear of peeling too few potatoes.

Plumgarths (pl. n) - The corrugations on the ankles caused by wearing tight socks.

Rhymney (n.) - That part of a song lyric which you suddenly discover you've been mishearing for years.

Scopwick (n.) - The flap of skin which is torn off your lip when trying to smoke an untipped cigarette.

Spurger (n.) - One who in answer to the question 'How are you?' actually tells you.

Woking (ptcpl. vb.) - Standing in the kitchen wondering what you came in her for.

Wubin (n.) - The metal foil container which Chinese meals come in.

Zod (n.) - An irritating lump which sticks out from the main body. Hence:

(1) A bit of cement which sits proud of the brick work

(2) A drip of paint on the windowpane.

(3) The knob of surplus butter on a corner of toast.

(4) Noel Edmond's head.

I can't believe I just spent all that time typing that out, there are many more but you get the idea.

G. Manchester