Papped this week....

Rusholme, Monday 6th April, 2009

Going out in public wearing the exact same outfit as your friend/sister; not ok past the age of 4.

Grand Designs ramblings

I'm only 5 minutes into this week's episode on channel 4 but i already think this couple's 'dream' is ridiculous.

I'll keep you up-to-date on how i feel throughout the show because i'm bored. PS- i'm not a geek. just an architecture student.

That's all.

F. Brighton

(ps G.Manchester- you may delete this post if you feel it is unsuitable. i think it'll be ok though because you and i are the only ones who read it)

***************9.52pm UPDATE*****************

it was a shit episode. waste of an hour.

The Smoking Ban, It Ain't So Bad

Firstly; the socialising outside with fellow smokers has become a highlight of my night out. Secondly; I've noticed how my dancing has become much more adventurous since the smoking ban. Before I used to use a cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other as an excuse to avoid dancing. Now, I have learnt to jump a swirl about without a care in the world and it is wonderful. 

......Oh yes and the not forcing others to stink of smoke/get cancer is quite good as well.

G. Manchester

Best Website EVER

www.engrish.com

Another Short Rant Re: Issues with the Diet Coke/Duffy advert

1. It features Duffy.

2. Duffy's voice.

3. Duffy's face.

4. Duffy's exaggeration of bending over when riding a bike.

5. Duffy being paid a lot of money to piss of the nation.

I love this book

This book is a dictionary of words for things that words don't exist for eg.

Ardslignish (adj.) - Descriptive of the behaviour of sellotape when you are tired.

Aubusson (n.) - The hairstyle a girl adopts for a special occasion which suddenly gives you a sense of what she will look like in twenty year's time.

Bolsover (n.) - One of those brown plastic trays with bumps on, placed upside down in boxes of chocolates to make you think you're getting two layers.

Boothby Graffoe (n.) - The man in the pub who slaps people on the back as if they were old friends, when in fact he has no friends, largely on account of this habit.

Dufton (n.) - The last page of a document that you always leave face down in the photocopier and have to go and retrieve later.

Duluth (adj.) - The smell of a taxi out of which people have just got.

Foffarty (adj.) - Unable to find the right moment to leave.

Fraddam (n.) - The small awkward-shaped piece of cheese which remains after grating a large regular-shaped piece of cheese, and which enables you to grate your fingers.

Glud (n.) - The pinkish mulch found in the bottom of a lady's handbag.

Golant (adj.) - Blank, sly and faintly embarrassed. Pertaining to the expression seen on the face of someone who has clearly forgotten your name.

Goosnargh (n.) - Something left over from preparing or eating a meal, which you store in the fridge despite the fact that you know full well you will never ever use it.

Hoddleson (n.) - An 'injured' footballer's limp back into the game which draws applause but doesn't fool anybody.

Kettering (n.) - The marks left on your bottom or thighs after sunbathing on a wickerwork chair.

Kettleness (adj.) - The quality of not being able to pee while being watched.

Lambarene (adj.) - Feeling better for having put pyjamas on. 

Liff (n.) - A common object or experience for which no word yet exists.

Listowel (n.) - The small mat on the bar designed to be more absorbent than the bar, but not as absorbent as your elbows.

Mointy (n.) - The last little tear before somebody cheers up.

Munster (n.) - A person who continually brings up the subject of property prices.

Oswestry (n.) - The inability to find a comfortable position to lie in bed.

Peoria (n.) - The fear of peeling too few potatoes.

Plumgarths (pl. n) - The corrugations on the ankles caused by wearing tight socks.

Rhymney (n.) - That part of a song lyric which you suddenly discover you've been mishearing for years.

Scopwick (n.) - The flap of skin which is torn off your lip when trying to smoke an untipped cigarette.

Spurger (n.) - One who in answer to the question 'How are you?' actually tells you.

Woking (ptcpl. vb.) - Standing in the kitchen wondering what you came in her for.

Wubin (n.) - The metal foil container which Chinese meals come in.

Zod (n.) - An irritating lump which sticks out from the main body. Hence:

(1) A bit of cement which sits proud of the brick work

(2) A drip of paint on the windowpane.

(3) The knob of surplus butter on a corner of toast.

(4) Noel Edmond's head.

I can't believe I just spent all that time typing that out, there are many more but you get the idea.

G. Manchester

Another Short Rant Re: Personalised Number Plates

I do not understand why anyone would ever pay so much money to write their name on a car, is it so that they don't loose it? Is it so that other drivers know your name? Sorry; your name if it was spelt backwards and with numbers instead of letters? No. I think it is in fact a very easy and very expensive way to make yourself look like a complete twat. 

G. Manchester

Michelle and Queenie bessie mates forever

Two of my favourite people in the world. And they are hugging. The Queen hasn't hugged a visitor in about 50 years (i read this fact on the Guardian site) but she couldn't say no to Michelle. I certainly couldn't. Maybe it had something to do with the iPod pressie. If that's how to get a hug from Her Majesty, she can gladly have mine.

Byrne in a Tutu

AMAZING.

Honestly though, one of the best shows I have ever seen.

G. Manchester

Bad times

I've had a shit day.

Then I remembered and hunted down this:

http://tinyurl.com/35x9km

F. Brighton

Crazy Bus Lady Linkage

Her facebook profile is at:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=823395719

You must:

a) Look at her photo albums

b) Try and read the scans of her hand-outs that she has used as profile pics

c) Add her as a friend

F. Brighton

A Short Rant Re: THE YOUTH OF TODAY

Yesterday the sun was shining and I walked up from Oxford Road and through the Gay Village into town. Walking past Sackville Gardens a transvestite joined my path, from the other direction a group of scally Asian boys were approaching, of course they laughed and pointed and said some words that I don't know the meaning of. Now I'm sure he/she could handle the abuse....obviously it is something to be expected if that's how you choose to live your life but it still angered me  A LOT...I think I was still drunk from the night before.

A Short Rant Re: CRAZY BUS LADY

For those who don't know, this is Crazy Bus Lady, or Magic Bus Lady as she prefers to be known. If you have ever visited Manchester and have been lucky enough to experience the busiest bus route in Europe down Wilmslow Road, (a sad fact to know, I am aware) you may well have come across this woman ranting on about the work of the Freemasons and her adulterous husband (this is what Facebook tells me anyway, personally I cannot understand a word.) Anyway, the other night on my way home from work at about 2am , yes 5th Ave kick out time and the worst time to ever hop on a bus, CBL was on the bus just doing her thang when some wanker started abusing the poor lady and shouting "CRAZY....CRAZY." She got very angry and shouted even more to which the said wanker's two friends found hysterical...no-one else did, I know she's not everyone's favourite person but there was no need for that. I love you Crazy Bus Lady.

G. Manchester

God Save Our Gracious Queen

I just thought I'd share this beautiful picture of Her Royal Highness. Yellow is definitely a good colour for her.

F. Brighton

Jacko

I gots da tickets.

Imagine how good (my) life would be if:

- I had a new macbook

- I had an iphone to match

- I lived with Georgina Dixon

- I had every Woody Allen film ever so I can know he is good and it's not just the luck of the films I've seen

- The temperature outside to match the gorgeous sunshine

- I had a million British Pounds Sterling

- I knew how to use my beautiful Leica camera

- I was a genius

F. Brighton

Top 20 Ridiculous Tube Station Names

1. Seven Sisters

2. Shepherd's Bush

3. Tooting Bec

4. Elephant & Castle

5. Swiss Cottage

6. Cockfosters

7. Cutty Sark

8. Mudchute

9. East Ham

10. High Barnet

11. East India

12. Bromby-by-Bow

13. Cyprus

14. Hackney Wick

15. Theydon Bols

16. Tooting Bec (my personal fave)

17. Maida Vale

18. Oval

19. Burnt Oak

20. Totteridge & Whetstone

G. Manchester

AIDS Lucky Dip

There are two needles, both containing heroin & one of them has AIDS, I will give you £50 million to pick a needle.

Pros:

You could be AIDS free and £50 million pound richer.

Even if you get AIDS you could afford the best medical treatment around.

A cure might be invented before it's too late.

You could afford more herion.

You could say you've tried herion.

If you lost all your friends, you could buy some more.

Cons:

Smack addiction.

AIDS.

Almost certain death.

At risk of losing many friends (though this depends on the type of friends you have).

This somehow came up in conversation one summer's evening in the pub amongst questions about drinking River Meadlock water, wearing suits of snakes and shagging John Prescot for various amounts of money so please don't take it too seriously.

G. Manchester

Top 5 People Most In Need Of A Good Slapping (female)

1. Duffy

2. Peaches Geldof

3. Kate Gash

4. Keira Knightly

5. Madonna